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Self-Care Isn’t a Luxury

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The best way to show up for your kids is to show up for yourself first.Self-care can be incredibly challenging for moms to prioritize, no matter their circumstances. Busy schedules, lack of alternatives to childcare, and endless responsibilities often make it hard to put personal needs first. Moms with full-time jobs may barely finish their day before bedtime routines begin, while those working from home juggle tasks around the clock. Stay-at-home moms also face unique challenges, managing an endless list of demands. But remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. The best way to show up for your kids is to show up for yourself first. Even taking five minutes a day to rest and recharge can make a difference. This article explores practical ways to help every mom prioritize self-care by carving out essential time for herself, so she can feel renewed and ready to be the mom she wants to be, no matter how hectic life gets.

How can I prioritize self-care without affecting others?

An effective self-care routine includes activities that focus on three main areas of health, physical, mental, and spiritual. Having a routine overall helps provide stability and structure for both parents and children. When life feels more predictable, it can reduce stress and minimize tantrums. However, life isn’t always perfect, and sticking to a routine every day may not always be possible.

Following a consistent daily routine can help make it simpler to prioritize self-care and so find time for personal activities when necessary, especially if those activities are already included in the schedule. Here are a few suggestions for self-care to consider. Start by incorporating a couple into the routine and see how it works out.

Simple ways to prioritize self-care

Eat first

Mothers often put their children’s needs first, making it common for them to either feed the kids first or try to eat at the same time. However, with everyone needing attention, their own meal often goes cold. By prioritizing their own meal, mothers can avoid being hungry and irritable. The children will still be fed and taken care of, and everyone will be better off.

Listen to an audiobook

Moms often have busy schedules, making it hard to find time to sit down and read a book. Listening to audiobooks while walking, cleaning, or winding down before bed can be a great way to prioritize self-care. It’s an easy way to enjoy books and add something meaningful to daily life, often without spending money.

Journal

Writing down thoughts and feelings can be surprisingly calming, especially when it’s hard to say them out loud to someone else. It doesn’t cost anything, but it can make a person feel so much better after letting it all out. For those who need ideas on what to write about, there are plenty of prompts online to help get started, such as writing about a favorite memory or setting goals for the future. And who knows, maybe one day these journal entries will turn into a published memoir that inspires others. Simple ways to prioritize self-care

Meditate

Meditation and prayer are powerful practices that help promote mindfulness, inner peace, and self-reflection. Taking time to sit in intentional silence offers many therapeutic benefits and can greatly improve overall well-being. For those who struggle to relax or focus, apps like Insight Timer provide guided breathing and relaxation techniques to prioritize self-care.

Do a YouTube yoga or dance video

Countless YouTube videos provide instructions on yoga, stretching, and other physical activities designed to promote relaxation and energy. A personal favourite is Yoga with Adriene who offers a variety of routines from beginner to advanced, delivered in a low-pressure and fun way. This can be combined with some meditation at the end!

Make a nightly routine just for you

After the kids have gone to bed, take some time to wind down with a nightly routine involving self-care. That could be a skincare routine, a stretching routine, or some time to read or journal. This routine can be ten minutes or much longer, whatever there is time for. 

Take your vitamins 

Her essentials vitamin packTaking care of the body has clear benefits, and this practice is no exception. It might take some time to see the results, but building this habit is worthwhile. Setting a phone reminder can help make it consistent. Each time someone takes their vitamins, it’s a small way of acknowledging their own importance. A great all-arounder if you’re not sure which vitamins to take is the Her Essentials Pack, which covers all of the essential vitamins and minerals a busy Mom may be lacking. 

Take a minute for human connection

Mothers often need genuine human connection more than anything else. It doesn’t have to involve a big event or a special occasion. A simple walk after the kids are asleep or a drive on a Saturday afternoon can make a big difference. Spending time with someone, talking about both the challenges and the good moments, is a great way to feel weight lifted off one’s shoulders. After all, a burden shared is a burden halved! 

Ask for help if it is needed

Asking for help isn’t always easy, but it’s important to seek support from professionals or trusted systems when dealing with mental health challenges. Many might not realize that reaching out can be an effective way to prioritize self-care. Handling everything alone can often lead to more stress, burnout, or a sense of isolation.

Have a laugh

Laughter offers many benefits for mental and emotional health. It helps reduce feelings of anxiety, depression, and stress, making it easier to cope with negative emotions. Laughter can also boost creativity, improve thinking skills, and increase focus and productivity. Finding moments to laugh, whether by watching funny videos, spending playful time with children, attending a comedy show, or sharing jokes with loved ones, can make a big difference in overall well-being.

Barriers to self-care

Why do moms struggle with self-careWorking to elevate self-care sounds great, but what if I don’t have childcare?

For parents without childcare who are home with their kids all day, finding a way to prioritize self-care can be a real challenge. Trusting someone else to watch the kids might feel difficult, but putting in the effort to find a reliable babysitter, even for occasional use, can make a big difference. This is especially true for single mothers, who can’t be expected to handle everything on their own all the time. Resources like Care.com or the June Care app can be helpful for finding trusted childcare options.

What if I don’t have the budget for self-care?

Not all moms have the money to regularly get their hair done, visit a spa, or enjoy other similar activities. Some might not even be able to afford childcare to have a break from the kids. When self-care feels out of reach financially, it can help to adjust expectations and focus on what’s realistic. Simple activities like creating a nightly skincare routine, journaling, or practicing yoga in the morning can make a difference.

I’m too tired to prioritize self-care

Lack of sleep can make it hard for anyone with children to feel motivated about trying self-care routines. Instead, self-care might need to focus on getting more rest. This could mean asking someone else to handle overnight feedings or diaper changes to allow for an extra few minutes of sleep. It might involve taking a nap during the day while the baby sleeps or resting while the kids are at school.

Some mothers often feel guilty for focusing on themselves and end up putting their family’s needs first. Others might feel unmotivated to take time for self-care. It’s important to remember that putting personal needs last shouldn’t become a habit. A mother who is happy and healthy plays a key role in creating a happy and healthy family.

FAQs

Why do moms struggle with self-care?

Sometimes, the challenges we face come from within, such as feelings of mom guilt or overwhelming worry that can lead to anxiety or even depression. Other times, external factors play a major role, such as balancing work, managing family responsibilities, caring for extended family members, or simply trying to keep up with the demands of everyday life. Juggling so many priorities at once can feel like spinning plates, and it’s easy to feel stretched too thin.

What happens when you ignore self-care?

Neglecting self-care, even unintentionally, can take a toll on our well-being. It often leaves us feeling stressed, anxious, or irritable, which can make it harder to focus or get a good night’s sleep. Over time, these effects build up, impacting both our mental health and how we view ourselves. This lack of balance can also strain our relationships, as our emotions and energy levels influence how we interact with others.

What are the signs of burnout?

Difficulty concentrating and frequent forgetfulness can make it hard to stay focused, often leading to unfinished tasks and growing responsibilities. These cognitive challenges may interfere with productivity and daily life. Additionally, physical symptoms such as chest pain, heart palpitations, stomach discomfort, dizziness, fainting, and headaches may appear.

Can self-care become selfish?

Taking time to care for your mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual well-being isn’t selfish, it’s essential. Prioritizing self-care allows you to be your best self, which benefits not just you but also those around you. When you invest in your own health and balance, you’re better equipped to support others and handle life’s challenges. Far from being a self-centered act, self-care is an act of responsibility and generosity, enabling you to show up fully for the people and causes that matter most.

Picture of Linda Aarons

Linda Aarons

Linda is a seasoned health writer, parent, and grandparent who divides her time between the U.S. and Israel. Passionate about travel and wellness, she brings valuable insights and a personal perspective to her writing.
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