Caring for the Ones Who Cared for Us

Caring for a parent with multiple health problems can be time-consuming, physically and emotionally challenging, yet deeply fulfilling. National Parents’ Day, celebrated on the fourth Sunday of July, reminds us to honor parents, which can be done by helping to care for them as they age. The United Nations recognized the importance of honoring aging parents in 2012, when it established the Global Day of Parents to be observed on the 1st of June each year.

In many countries, life expectancy is growing and people are living longer compared to previous generations. However, health challenges are a major concern since many aging parents live with multiple health issues, making their need for healthcare more complex. 

I watched my mother when she cared for my grandfather as he lived with dementia. It wasn’t easy, but it brought them closer in a way I’d never seen before. Through her actions, she honored her father and celebrated their bond. This experience reminded me of the importance of recognizing the sacrifices and love parents give, whether on Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or any occasion that celebrates family.

Taking care of a parent who once cared for you is a unique experience. It’s an opportunity to honor and celebrate your parents while reflecting on the role they’ve played in shaping who you are. As I care for my mother now, I think about the lessons I learned from her and the sense of fulfillment that comes with giving back.

Common chronic conditions that may affect aging parents 

Understanding the common chronic health issues that parents may face as they age can help you provide better support and care.

Cardiovascular disease

Coronary heart disease and stroke are some of the most common forms of CVD, leading to a significant impact on health and quality of life. These conditions also account for a large number of hospitalisations among older adults. Arthritis and other musculoskeletal conditions

As people age, they become more susceptible to conditions such as arthritis, back problems, and osteoporosis, all of which can significantly impact their quality of life. These conditions can cause pain, stiffness, and reduced mobility, making daily activities challenging. 

Chronic kidney disease

Chronic kidney disease (CKD) becomes more common with age, with the prevalence rising sharply among those aged 65 and above. This trend is also reflected in hospitalisations, as the majority of kidney disease-related stays are for people over 65. 

Respiratory conditions

Older adults are more likely to experience breathing problems, which can include both long-term conditions like chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) and short-term infections. Both conditions can significantly impact quality of life, especially as they often require ongoing management and care to reduce symptoms and maintain lung function.

Dementia

Dementia refers to a range of conditions that gradually damage the brain, leading to symptoms like memory loss, difficulty with speech, thinking, and movement, as well as changes in behavior or personality. While memory loss is a common sign, dementia can affect many aspects of a person’s life, making daily activities more challenging as the condition progresses. Importantly, dementia is not a normal part of aging, even though it is more common in people over 65.

Diabetes

Diabetes is a chronic condition where blood sugar levels are too high due to the body not producing enough insulin or not using it properly.

Mental health

Poor mental health can lead to challenges, including anxiety, depression, and other conditions. For older adults, mental health issues may arise from life events like grief, health concerns, or caregiving responsibilities.

Oral health and disease

Older adults face unique challenges when it comes to oral health, due to medical conditions, dental issues, or difficulties in maintaining proper oral care, including increased vulnerability to tooth decay, gum disease, and other oral health problems like mouth ulcers, misaligned teeth, and oral injuries.

Hearing and vision

Hearing and vision health play a major role in maintaining independence, social connections, and overall quality of life, especially for older adults. Hearing problems can impact communication, social participation, and employment. Similarly, chronic eye conditions are common in older adults and can significantly affect daily life. These conditions often require different treatments and management strategies.

Chronic pain

Chronic pain can range from mild discomfort to severe pain that significantly impacts daily life. Among older adults, chronic pain is particularly challenging. It is more common in women and older adults, and it tends to worsen with age. Chronic pain not only affects physical health but can also make it harder for older individuals to manage daily activities and remain self-sufficient. 

How can I help my aging parents without feeling frustrated?

Growing older can be challenging. As people age, they often experience a natural slowdown in their senior years. For parents, this stage can be tough to accept, especially if it means adjusting their independence. They might become stubborn, argumentative, or keep things to themselves, which can create stress for everyone involved. Finding ways to handle these situations with patience and understanding can make it easier to support aging parents with care and compassion.

Discover problems that come with getting older.

By learning more about common issues that come with aging, people can better understand their parents’ experiences and respond with patience and empathy.

As people age, they often feel anxiety, fear, or frustration as they lose some independence or abilities. What may seem like stubbornness could actually be their way of trying to stay in control of their own lives. Knowing this can help family members see that these behaviors aren’t meant to upset them. Understanding aging-related challenges can also help caregivers and family members prepare for issues like medical bills and managing appointments.  

Practice gratitude

Gratitude is a strong and helpful idea in positive psychology. When someone feels grateful, they focus on appreciation and stay optimistic and calm. By finding small moments each day to be thankful, a person can stay in a good mindset, even when dealing with tough situations, like taking care of aging parents.

Talk to others in the same boat

Caring for aging parents is something many people face, and it can be helpful to connect with others going through similar experiences. Speaking with other family members or friends can help to share the emotional burden of caregiving. If that is not an option, joining a support group allows individuals to share their own tips and strategies while also learning new ideas from others in the same situation. 

Put yourself in their shoes

When feeling stressed, it can help to imagine what things might look like from a parent’s point of view. If the roles were switched, how would it feel? Thinking about challenging situations or situations that are met with pushback from their perspective might make it easier to understand their feelings.

As parents get older, they might need some help, but they still want to feel independent and valued. Respecting this can help lighten the load for their family without taking over responsibilities too soon.

Look after yourself too

Self-care is important because it helps in many parts of life. If someone isn’t taking care of themselves, they might struggle to help others, like their aging parents.

Self-care includes anything that supports physica, spiritual,l and mental health. This could be managing stress, practicing relaxation, or staying active through exercise.

Caring for aging parents can be difficult, especially when they need a lot of help. As parents grow older, they may lose some independence and abilities, which can make them feel scared, stressed, or frustrated. These feelings might show up as stubbornness or arguing.

To handle this stage of life, it helps to plan ahead, learn about aging, and take care of yourself. This way, it’s easier to support parents with kindness and understanding while managing the challenges that come with it.

FAQs

What are the top 3 chronic conditions in older adults?

Chronic illnesses like diabetes, arthritis, and heart disease are more common among older adults than other age groups.

How to care for aging parents when you can’t be there?

You can help even from a distance by asking what support is needed most, staying in touch with the main caregiver through calls or emails, or visiting to give them a break while you take care of the older person for a few days.

How do I accept my parents’ aging?

Supporting aging parents can be easier with a few key steps. Learn about the aging process to better understand their needs. Keep communication open and kind, so they feel supported. Build a support system by involving family or friends, and don’t forget to take care of yourself too. Lastly, plan ahead to handle future needs together..

What is dementia rage?

As dementia gets worse, a person might act out with aggressive words or actions. This can be upsetting for both them and the people caring for them.

What not to say to elderly parents?

When talking to your aging parents, be mindful of your words. Avoid questioning their memory, commenting on their abilities, or criticizing their lifestyle choices. Try not to make dismissive remarks about their social life or assume things about where or how they should live. Respect and understanding go a long way.